|What ARE you staring at??
||[Dec. 20th, 2006*08:03 pm]
The United Naked Nations
Today, I decided to perform one of nakedblueninja's 'mutinous' suggestions.
1. Stand around on a street corner, or some other relatively busy public place, and stop, look up, and don't stop staring. Focus on some random thing, and hold fast to it. In ten minutes or less, you'll have a crowd all around you, looking up where you're looking. Usually I sneak away unnoticed at that point, because the phenomenon is self-sustaining. People will join the crowd at about the same rate as people will give up on figuring out what everyone else is starting at, and so you're no longer necessary.
I agreed to accompany my mother on a dreaded shopping adventure. Our first stop was a clothing store. She had coupons. I purchased clothing. But, in my naked defense, said purchased items were scanty tank tops and a very low cut tee and some frilly undergarments. But alas, there weren't many shoppers in the vacinity to carry out my task.
Onwards to the bane of the world's existence, Wal-Mart. Oh be still my beating heart! So many people to 'toy' with! I wandered the aisles with an empty cart, scoped out my territory, and low and behold, found a perfect spot to set into motion my dastardly deeds.
Right there, in front of the pharmacy and it's surrounding 'health needs' displays, I stood. This was a most perfect spot. Very near to one of the entrances, so I was guaranteed many passers-by.
And so I stood.
And looked up.
My focal point was an innocent little ceiling tile, yet to those that observed me, I was glancing upon the Mona Lisa, or perhaps the face of God etched into the ceiling.
And I stood. And stared. Several lemmings stopped and looked up as well. To answer their questioning eyes, I looked at them, back to the ceiling, and then back at them with an "OMG!" look on my face before returning my gaze upward.
They searched and searched, trying to find what it was I was seeing. Several more people stopped and looked up. Some walked on past, glancing up, questioning their comrades, searching for the answer to this spectacle.
I had in my grasp seven or so observers. Standing there with me, in front of the pharmacy. I realized that I had accomplished what I had set out to do, and with a spin of my heel and a squeak of the wheel, I took my leave, trying to muffle my giggles as I passed out of the store and off into the sunset.